It’s bothering me. A lot. Enough to make me write for the first time in a long time.

Why? Because she had to die before anyone paid attention to her, she had to die before her voice was heard, and she had to die before anyone gave her any sympathy. Therefore, this potentially means that if she didn’t take her own life, no one would’ve known her story. And even those that may have known would still do nothing about it. Everyone would just go on with their lives thinking that nothing was wrong. Someone should not have to take their own life just to make sure their story is being heard. 

But there’s something that’s bothering me more. It’s the fact that since I wasn’t part of the solution, it means that I was part of the problem…. and that the majority of people trying to raise awareness about her death, like myself, are also part of the problem.

Why? Because even though I didn’t know the girl, I am partially responsible for her death.  Because I haven’t done anything intentional - to purposely go out of my way to prevent bullying. Because when was the last time I purposely spent time with someone who was maybe more “socially awkward?” When was the last time I went out of my way to get to know someone that “everyone hated?” 

The answer is appalling. “I don’t know.” And if I had to predict, that would be the answer of the majority of average teenagers today. 

Because of this campaign, many are choosing to wear pink the following Monday to raise awareness for Amanda’s death. But frankly, I believe that is one of the stupidest things to do. Bash me if you want, but hear me out. Wearing pink may raise awareness for the problem of bullying, but it does NOTHING to FIX the problem. It just gives a person the false sense that they are doing something to stop bullying, when it reality nothing really changes. You’re wearing pink for one day: how is that going to change the fact that there’s someone out there being bullied, feeling depressed, and standing alone? If anything, this whole “pink day” campaign is just one giant cure for the guilt of those who probably won’t actually do anything different than just wearing pink on Monday. 

So instead of wearing pink, I’ll decide to talk to someone who I may have judged wrongly. Or maybe I’ll talk to someone during lunch who’s sitting alone - whether I know them or not. Awkward? Yes. Abnormal? Definitely. But look at what just happened as a result of everyone just living a “normal” life without intention. 

I’ll choose to be active, to do something, to make a change. Instead of just standing there passively dressed in a feminine neon colour.

And yes, this is an invitation to do the same. 

RIP Amanda Todd

a while back during a meeting before icon (the name of our church’s youth group) with some of the members of the core group of our church’s youth group, our youth pastor brought up the topic of having priorities. he illustrated it with an analogy of putting different sized rocks in a jar. if youre going to fit all the rocks into the jar, it would make more sense to put the bigger ones in first, allowing for the smaller ones to fit around the bigger ones in succession. if you attempt to put in the smaller rocks first, the bigger rocks are not going to fit later.

the same can be said for our lives. its a simple analogy. the jar represents our life while the rocks represent the things we have to do to fill our lives. the bigger rocks are the bigger priorities and the things that truly matter in our lives while the smaller rocks are the smaller tasks and priorities.

continuing on with the metaphor, our pastor asked the core group to list out a few things that would represent the things that would considered the “big rocks.” it was obvious that the things listed between us were common among us. things like spending time with God, family, and friends are things that are truly important.

then our youth pastor pointed out that usually the big rocks, the things that were considered top priorities in our lives, are usually not urgent. spending time with God or doing devotions can be skipped and left out without any immediate consequence. loving and honouring your parents may be something that can be left for a special occasion such as a birthday or mother’s/father’s day in order for us to exemplify. it feels as if its not something that needs to be shown everyday in our lives. whereas, the smaller rocks, such as maybe school assignments or giving some time to yourself seem like they have higher priority and urgency in everyday life. school assignments and tests have due dates, which make them urgent and have a need for us to spend a lot of time working on them. unfortunately, this constant need to fulfill the requirements of these “smaller rocks” cause us to neglect the need to spend time for our “bigger rocks”

now back to the original analogy. it was seen that the big rocks needed to be put in first in order for the smaller rocks to surround the big rocks in the jar. but our life consists of events that cause us to put the smaller rocks first, as the bigger rocks are things that don’t need to be prioritized or can be put aside for another time. but if our lives, the jar, continues to put the big rocks aside and the smaller rocks first, eventually what truly matters in our lives, the big rocks, will not be able to fit inside the jar anymore. and the longer one puts aside the big rocks and the things that are important in our lives, the harder and harder it is for them to fit in the jar.

the mentality behind our world today is deadly. for example, in order to get into good universities, it requires the utter concentration towards academics and time spent towards educating yourself through volunteering in the community or doing other extra curricular activities. our world requires us to put the smaller rocks first and spend most of our time on them. its so much easier to think that we’ll have time later to spend on the big rocks.

so our pastor ended with a simple message to ‘prioritize and spend time on the big rocks daily’. don’t put them aside until later. it is worth sacrificing a few of the smaller rocks each day than to realize later down the road that the big rocks don’t fit anymore, to realize that your walk with God is nonexistent, to realize that your relationships in your family have deteriorated. because usually by the time you think have you time for the things that matter in life, the smaller rocks may have taken too much room in the jar already.

so to my fellow grads especially. moving into a new stage in life is going to make spending time on the bigger rocks even harder. the busy life of university will probably cause us to think at times that there isnt time to go to church. moving into a new city/province or simply moving out of our parent’s house may discourage us to serve in the church like we maybe did during high school. and if our walk with God isnt as good as we would like it to be right now, how much harder will it be when its time to enter a foreign environment?

with this in mind, it doesnt really surprise me that theres a statistic that about 80% of students that are raised in the church will walk away from their faith by the end of their first year of university. theres just so much temptation and pressure that our society today brings. but just imagine you and four of your closest friends. between the five of you, who do you think is most likely to keep their faith? as according to the statistic, only one of the five of you will stay in the church. if that person isn’t you, why not? and if that person is you, are you willing to see your four closest friends walk away from their faith?

therefore, my prayer is to not become part of that statistic. that we may form habits and prioritize the things that truly matter in order for us to remember what truly is important in our lives. so that the big rocks can still fit in the jar before we realize that its too late.

Let’s not ignore the facts. It has been said or at least implied by some students in the school many times that Christianity in Pacific Academy is fake. And I don’t blame them. You see segregation and animosity between and even within grades. Many students don’t exhibit Christian behaviour because it is downplayed and even discouraged among the student body, as it is sometimes not seen to be socially acceptable to exhibit these behaviours. And the large of majority of students do not participate or engage themselves during chapel, even when it supposed to be the time dedicated for students to connect themselves with God. So given these facts, it has not been surprising to me that many students have taken Christianity in PA as something that isn’t real or active. We’re just a bunch of students who are Christians, but it doesn’t mean anything to us.

But this week has proven this idea wrong. Through the power of God, Spirit Week has removed the burdens and barriers keeping the student body from expressing their love for God. It has liberated us from the fear of being judged for our faith. From a personal standpoint, it has been amazing to see how far the school has come in our spiritual walk as a school.

But where do we go from here?

I really hope that the celebration of God’s glory comes outside of the chapel too. Because Christianity and worship shouldn’t be limited to the 40 minutes we get every Wednesday. It would be amazing to see the sense of community seen when everyone was raising their hands to worship this one true God in our student body everyday.

Spirit Week has allowed us to establish ourselves as a community - something that the school has been striving for this entire year starting with the incident with Coco. To me, community is defined as “a group of people who set aside their differences in order to reach a common goal.” This was achieved this week. Many put aside their fears of being judged and proclaimed their love for God in order to glorify Him. It was awesome to see and be a part of.

To me, it would also be very demoralizing to see during next chapel that we return to the state we were before. To see that Spirit Week was just a spiritual high for everyone and that it meant nothing to us afterwards. Hopefully, the messages and legacy created by Spirit Week continues on throughout the rest of the year and for years to come.

Because Christianity isn’t a one time experience
it’s a lifestyle.

hello again. first original blog in about 10 weeks. hope you enjoy it :)

mute. thats the theme of our church’s university/college group camp. although im not going to that camp (cuz im obviously not in uni yet). i believe the theme is very applicable to our world today. its based off one of rob bell’s nooma videos. (whom i still love even after the universalist conspiracy. very good writer and speaker) the theme is simple really. its all about….

silence.

at one point in the video. rob bell talks about how hard it is for video producers to get the pure sound of nature. and he gives a few us the viewers a few numbers. he states that recently. and i dont remember according to which year. but it takes about 2000 hours of video in the wilderness to obtain only one hour of the pure. undisturbed. sound of nature. the other 1999 hours was thrown away due to maybe a plane passing by. or a car driving along a road that can be heard ever so slightly a few miles away. but the point was. our world is so filled with

noise.

the rest of the video is then played with only words. rob bell doesnt speak. its only a black screen with white text. and the viewers watch in awkward silence. very. awkward. silence. but why is silence awkward? why does it feel weird to be in the quiet? is it the fear? is it the feeling of loneliness?

maybe silence is only awkward because our world is so filled to the brim with noise. and therefore silence is something that no one is used to. weve adapted to the concept of noise flowing into our ears 24/7. how many of us listen to music whenever we can? some of us even as we fall asleep. ironically im listening to music as im writing this blog.

and if our world is so filled with noise. why do we complain that the voice of God is so hard to hear? God’s voice is a still small voice. in psalm 46 it says ‘be still, and know that i am God.’ when elijah was sent to the mountains. God did not come in the form of fire or wind. he came in the silence. and if our lives are so jammed up with noise. how do we hear the voice of God? or how do we know if the voices we hear are from God?

now i hate suggesting things. but for those of you who are looking for an idea for devotions. just take 5 mins. 5 measly minutes out of your day. and sit in silence. or the closest thing you can get. for me that means taking out the battery in the clock because its so annoying. but 5 mins. and trust me itll feel like an hour. and try to listen to the voice of God. may seem stupid and pointless. but to me it feels somewhat refreshing at the least.

silence. He’s waiting.

hello again my significant lack of followers. i havent blogged in….. 6 weeks. ib is terrible. i hope to blog a lot more in the summer. anyways here is a piece that my friend eddie posted on his blog and i believed it was really good and would fit on my blog nicely. hopefully i get around to blogging soon too….. [this seems it belongs more on a youtube vlog] here goes

Forgiveness is so much easier said than done, and a reason for that is because of my memory. For whatever bizarre reason, things I try to forget, I remember; whereas things I try to remember, I forget. This begs the question: if I still remember the incident(s), can I forgive? Further still: is it even possible to truly forget?

“Forgive and forget” is something that is repeated so much that it has, for all intents and purposes, no meaning at all. However, recently, this issue has come to the forefront of my attention, and for good reason. I realized that I remember a lot of things. Very, very old things, which I claim to have completely forgotten about and forgiven, and therefore have no bearing whatsoever on current relationships at all. I was so wrong, and it took some soul-searching with a level-headed and uninvolved friend (at the time of our conversation) to find out.

In a sense, I was half right. I had forgotten the details of the past. But that’s just a chip off the old brick. The bulk of the memory, the emotional memory, was still there. I just turned a blind eye. Lied to and fooled myself, and the other person. To take my friend’s word for it, I was “hardened.” I had no clue, but I was still, in some corner of my heart and soul, mad. Some part of me still wanted to pick up the blame of past and present and just chuck it at this person who had crossed me — no, who I thought had crossed me — years ago. By the way, said person is a very important one.

It’s actually been over a month since this issue first came into the spotlight. This post has been a work in progress ever since (hence the lack of posts recently). My thoughts are so scattered, and I am so heavily involved that I have had no idea how to arrange the post. To date, I still lack a complete answer to the two main questions. However, I think I have at least a few pieces of the puzzle.

Logically, I should try to answer the second question first, so I will. I don’t think that it’s possible to truly forget things like this. When the emotional scar comes between people as close as that person and me, even if the details become lost in the sea of time, the thoughts and feelings accompanying it will never, ever get completely washed away. It may be dulled, but it will always be there, somewhere. God may be able to completely blot out our sins with Christ’s blood, but that’s because he’s omnipotent. I am — we are — not. Even so, as my friend pointed out, this is not a free pass to dwell on the past. It is not a reason to expect badly of the future. Life was meant to be lived in the present, and problems are to be fixed in the present as well.

God never commanded us to forget wrongs, but He has told us to forgive them, and nothing He tells us to do is impossible. That is why I think that even though I may never be able to forget, there is a glimmer of hope that I can, however slowly, reach the realm of true forgiveness. It won’t be easy. I’ve only taken a few baby steps. I’ll be the first to acknowledge that I could move faster, that there are still way too many thoughts that get in the way; but at least I’m pointed in the right direction.

As I’ve let these thoughts percolate in my head, it has led to a vastly increased appreciation of how great, how awesome, how unfathomably deep God’s love for us is. The difficulty I face in my problems with one person, compared to the sin of the entire world and its billions of people. Still He promised never again to flood the world. Still he promised to give the world a way. It cost Him dearly, but He delivered. It is the ultimate example of and inspiration for forgiveness.

All these years, I have “forgotten,” but never forgiven. Now I see that maybe it should be exactly the other way around. “Forgive, but never forget” is a quote that is also thrown around. It is a quote that probably deals with problems and has a background that is vastly different from that of mine. However, for now, this is what I will go by. If only for the fact that, as a Christian, I am called to forgive. If only for the fact that it might be impossibly difficult to forget. Perhaps it ought to be “forgive, despite not forgetting.” If I can achieve that, I believe I will have mastered the highest level of human forgiveness.

As to “forgive and forget” — flawed, but sufficient for the small things in life.

-Eddie Wong

3+ weeks without a blog post. ibs been killing me. anyways. this isnt my writing. but its good stuff…

I am a Christian. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry for the way that I come across

So fair and faith friendly and full of myself

Judging your spiritual health by the words that you say

And the way that you dress, and the things that you do

Or maybe just judging you.

I’m sorry for the way that I live my life

So confident of my own beliefs that

I would never even think to think about thinking about yours

I’m sorry for the wars.

Ivory clad Crusaders mounting steeds and drawing swords

With such a spirit that if The Spirit spoke they wouldn’t hear

But you see the sword of the spirit was not a sword but the Word

And the Word was with God and the Word was God

And they preached this as they marched on the Holy Land

Singing and Praying and Killing and Slaying

And purging and healing and raping and stealing

It’s ironic that they lined their pockets in the name of God

Just like the priests who line their pockets in the name of God

Just like the people that you can’t stand, because they always raise their hand

And spread their faith and hate and judgment in the name of God

I’m sorry that I take God’s name in vain

Or rather I’m sorry that I stain the name of God

Defending my selfish actions as selfless actions pertaining to the will of God

I’m sorry for being intolerant

For trying to talk down to you

For trying to talk over you

For not letting you talk

I’m sorry for not walking the walk

For being a hypocritical critical Christian

Criticising your pagan lifestyle while my lifestyle styles itself

Just like the televangelist’s hair

All slick and sly and slippery

As the silver syllables slide their way into your ear

But see that’s my greatest fear

That the steps I take won’t match the words I speak

So that when I speak all you hear of me

is a weak hypocritical critical Christian

Doing one thing, but saying another

Loving my friend, but hating my brother

It’s a show.

I’m sorry I get drunk on Saturdays

and go to church on Sundays to pray

for my friends who get drunk on Saturdays

And on that note,

I’m sorry for making the church about the pews and the cross

And the walls and the steeple

Because see the building is not the church

The church is the people

I’m sorry that I hate you because you are gay

I’m sorry I condemn you to hell because you are gay

Instead of loving I jump to hatred

Mouth open and tongue preaching

Eyes open but not seeing that you are the same as me

Just a f**king human being

I’m sorry that I only hang out with Christian friends

And we do nice Christian things

Like pot luck dinners and board game nights

While in the night a man beats his girlfriend again

Another homeless man died again

Is this the way that my own crowd has been?

But here I am with the same friends again

But see what I always forget is that Jesus didn’t come

to hang out with the priests and the lords.

No, He hung out with cripples and beggars and whores

Love

I’m sorry for history

For native tribes wiped out in the name of the church

Lodges burning Stomachs churning and yearning for justice

And mothers screaming and pleading

Pleading for the young ones

As they are dragged away to church schools

Where they were abused

I’m sorry for the way that I refused

To learn your culture

Instead I just came to spread the Gospel

And the plague

I’m sorry that I stand at the front doors of abortion clinics

Screaming at 15 year old girls as they enter

Instead of waiting at the back door to hug them as they leave

I’m sorry for taking my wars and my faith to your lands

When historically it was on your lands that my faith was born

And in the face of the storm, I realise that

If God is Love and Love is God

Then why are we shooting instead of sharing?

Why are we launching instead of learning?

Why are we warring instead of walking together?

Why are we taking instead of talking together?

Why are we bombing instead of breaking bread together as brothers?

You see I think that God looks down and He’s sad

And from His right hand throne above

Jesus asks where is the Love?

And if it takes Wil-I-Am and Justin Timberlake

Asking that same question for us

To start asking that same question

Then where the f**k are we headed?

So I will take this stage to be my chapel

And this mic my confession booth

And in the presence of God, the few, the proud,

and the blessed I confess, that

I am a Christian. I’m sorry.

- Chris Tse

we shouldnt fit the Bible into our lives
       we fit our lives to the Bible

we shouldnt use devotions to meet our needs
       we use devotions to meet God’s will

we shouldnt worship to show our feelings about God
       we worship to revere him and show His glory

we shouldnt move God into our lives
       we move our lives to Gods

because its not about our needs our wants and our feelings
       its all about Him

sin. its such a deceitful tool. such an ugly. despicable part of life. yet as a christian. one of our goals to make sure we further ourselves from sin. so is getting rid of sin. or not doing things that are sinful. actually possible?

unfortunately the answer is no. it is impossible for anyone to stop sinning. sometimes one gets so caught up in the promises that Jesus has given us. the happy and hopeful promises that God has said to us. that we forget we are a sinfully  natured type of people. and its unforunate and sad. so what exactly is the best way to approach this?

i believe that first one has to acknowledge reality. that sin surrounds our world and it is impossible to totally resist the devil with our sinful nature. for it is only by the grace of God that we do not sin. and it is also by the grace of God that we are forgiven. in sunday school. we looked at the penetential psalms written by king david (ch 6, 32, 38, 51, 102, 130, 143) and we realized that there were some things missing in his confessions. but the one that came most appealing was the fact that david never says ‘i will never do it again’ or anything along the lines of that. however. when he is confessing. it is whole hearted. and he recognizes that God is sovereign and the only one that can forgive him. he also expresses deep pain when he is confessing which  is shown through the imagery he creates in his psalms. when king david approaches sin. he acknowledges reality really well.

but sometimes acknowledging reality is very difficult. actually it is usually if not always very difficult. because it forces us to look at our failures. our pains. our imperfections. it causes us to realize how useless we are. and often at times we just harden our hearts against sin. we give up on the fact of recognizing it because its painful. and its hard to say to ourselves that we are failures. and so our conscience slowly fades away because we dont acknowledge our sin and the fact that we are bound to it. but at the same time. if we do face our sin. it allows us to realize how much we need God. beacuse no matter how much we try. we as human beings. are imperfect. and we will sin no matter how much we try not to. but this pushes us to see that God is almighty. and powerful. and ultimately. our saviour.

but does this mean that we should give in to sin. beacuse it is impossible to defeat it through our own willpower. and plus we have a blank cheque from God to forgive us? pauls answer to this in romans 6 is ‘by no means! we are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?’ he is saying because we have been made alive through the forgiveness of Jesus. we should no longer sin because sin causes death and destruction. but at times this can be taken at too much of an extreme. and just like the pharisees who made so many laws in order to keep them from sinning. we try to become perfect. when it is ultimately impossible.

so when one approaches sin. one should have a mixture between acknowledging that one is imperfect and that one needs should try to be disciplined. to realize that they are imperfect. yet forgiven. but to also try their best to stray away from sin. and to take up their cross. their pains. their suffering. and follow Jesus.

this time. some inspiration from sunday school class. [i apologize for the lack of coherence. you may get lost while you read this. and its a really long post too  :S]

so this time along when signing up for sunday school classes. there was a class in which work outside from the hour of teaching was needed. in other words homework. i took this class i guess as a challenge. but also hoping that it would strengthen my relationship with God. and so far. pastor andrew. you havent disappointed. in fact. this is going up on the blog for not only our sunday school class to know about.

so i guess this is sort of a reflective blog. or somewhat of a recap of what happened. so in the first class we had yesterday we got introduced to the class. the class was called ‘your faith: living it out’ [or something along the lines of that :S] we first brainstormed on ‘how to make our faith our own’ and ‘why is it so hard to live out our faith’.

for the first question. answers such as ‘searching for your own opinion’ and ‘making your own decisions’ came up. for ‘why is it so hard to live out our faith’ answers such as ‘fear/judgement/worry. lack of knowledge. insecurity.’ as well as a few other answers…. that i cant remember

afterwards. pastor andrew discovered a pattern. other than “making your own decisions” all the other answers had something to do with your head. it had absolutely nothing to do with what actions you take to develop or present your faith. and he stated that in our world today. and also with our faith. that there are five disconnections that cause us to not be able to put our faith into action and to make it our own.  the fact is that we know better but we do not put the things we know into action. the five disconnections are

mind - body
ourselves - our selves
belief - action
person - place
emotion - faith

we know that the mind and body is connected. for example. try studying wrapped around in blankets with a pillow tucked under you head while lying in your bed. the result would be youre bound to fall asleep instead of studying. we know that the mind and body are connected. but we sometimes ignore this fact.

next comes ourselves and our selves. ourselves meaning a unit or our community. our selves meaning our own identity. and we often mix these two up. instead we should know how our individuality has to do with our community. this will help with making our faith our own. 

the next three are somewhat obvious. belief and action being probably the biggest problem because our world today focusses on how we should know things. an example of this would be education. education forces us to learn things and cement them in our head. but it has almost no effect on our actions. and this causes us to believe that what matters most is how much we know. while it should be what or how much we do.

the fourth disconnection is between a person and a place. this has been made a lot easier today as there are things like facebook and instant messaging. have you ever thought how ironic it is that you know someone on facebook who may be halfway around the world that you met once perhaps at a concert or another large meeting. but you do not know your neighbours in your neighbourhood? this is a problem because we dont spend enough time around our immediate area where we can actually make the most impact on.

the last disconnection is between our emotion and our faith. how much emotional energy do we put into worldly things instead of our faith? how much more time do we spend thinking about education. the latest gagdet. the latest sports game. instead of our faith? the fact is again. we know that our faith should come before those things. but unfortunately the disconnection makes it hard to put this into action.

so obviously. these disconnection cause us to not put our faith into action. because even though we know better. these disconnections get in the way. this was basically the goal of the term. to turn these disconnections around so that they can help with our faith to the extent that they are our own and were able to live them out.

but in order for this to happen. we need to make enough of an effort and be excited about correcting these errors. even if the idea sounds good. again. we may not put it into action. its kind of like watching someone play the piano with the greatest precision and sound. or watching the nhl hockey player performing a ankle breaking deke to score a highlight reel goal. both of these we admire and WANT to do. but honestly. if we REALLY WANTED to be able to perform those tasks. we WOULD BE ABLE TO as we would put enough practice and emotional and mental energy so that doing those things are possible.

but the question is how? how do we make ourselves excited enough to put enough physical. mental and emotional energy into our faith. well the answer is simple.

find something that excites you and use it to put your faith into practice.

this point was elaborated with a short story. a true one. there was a couple. their names were eugene and sara and their daughter was going to have a baby. sara was then immediately super excited and wanted to see her daughter right away.  so that she can talk with her and make arrangements. even though the baby was coming 6 months later and the ride from their house to their daughters house was a good three hours. so on the ride home. eugene was troubled on why sara was so excited. he simply didnt feel the joy and happiness that came with the anticipation of a grandchild. so when eugene asked why sara was so excited and he wasnt. sara responded with a short yet amusing answer.

‘it is because you havent been pregnant before’

it is because sara was able to relate with their daughter. there was a long nine month period with ups and downs in which there was a direct connection with how it felt like having a baby. therefore. this direct connection and experience caused sara to be excited. while eugene. who obviously did not go through this experience would not have the same excitement. so sara came up with an idea. he told eugene

to build a crib.

and as time went by. and eugene built the crib. he got more ane more excited about their coming grandchild. because there was something that he was doing to stimulate the anticipation. there was a direct experience and direct connection with the excitement of having a grandchild.

therefore the experience for re-establishing and connecting with our faith should be the same. we need something that can be used to connect with our faith. something that gets us excited. we need a “crib” as pastor andrew called it.

well. i guess heres mine. and i hope to use it more frequently :)

majorly overdue for a blog…..

teenagehood. its probably the weirdest. yet coolest. most fun. yet most challenging. stage of life. its a love hate relationship. there are days where you have a blast. just mindless. awesome. amazing. crazy. type of fun. then there are days where the drama. the hormones. the school. and the issues catch up with you. and you feel like your head is turning into mush from stress.

yup. definitely a love/hate matter.

putting that aside. teenage life. especially the early stages of it. is when most teenagers want to find their identity. they. or should i say we. want to be given more freedom. to be able to experiment with new things. to be independent. to explore the unexplored. to attempt the unattempted. all to gain experience. and to create their own identity.

an identity which we can be known for. an identity which we can be remembered for. but what for? so that we have a label to go by? so that we can receive recognition? to gain popularity? so that we can boost our self esteem? our egos? what is this identity for? because along with what may seem the ‘positive’ labels can be the ‘negative’ labels. and it only takes one negative label to hinder all the positive ones. making one change themselves into what society wants them to be. but once that happens. another label comes along. making one change themself again. and the cycle goes on. and on. and on.

until they are swallowed by what the world wants them to become.

and what the world wants them to become. engulfs the person into total darkness. like a person with sight who chooses to wear a blindfold. but what the world wants. will never satisfy what a person wants. for every one of us strives to be the best. to be at the top of what i call. ‘the imaginary social ladder’. but at what cost? a life swallowed up by the expectations of our peers. our society. and our world?

whether it be the way you look. disatisfied by what was meant to be perfect. yet destroyed by the expectations of the world. whether it be the perfect plan for your life. yet destroyed by not meeting expectations because of failing grades. and trouble with school. whether it be the breakup with the most treasured person. and swamped with a blanket of pain and anguish. all these. tools. for the

devil. to shade you from God’s perfect plan.

when were swallowed up by whats around us. it blocks us from realizing what God wants. what is perfect. what is pure. and many times. we are too busy to try and find this ‘identity’ and we forget to look up. hoping to be blessed and inspired by the one above. so that we can give our worldly self away. and be one with God. cuz thats the ultimate identity. most of us have probably heard the verse romans 12:2 so many times we wanna puke. about conforming to the world and stuff. but its true. it really is. and this message is thrown at us so many times we brush it off too easily. but as teenagers. we get distracted by so many things. so many of our freedoms. that we leave out whats most important.

what is truly real. our identity in Christ.